ramenjesus:

I stopped getting crushes on people once I realized that I had a superior intellect the ability to transform into a 12 foot long sewer gator

rumour:

debby ryan’s face is so punchable look at her shE MAKES ME SO MAD

iboughtafuckinggateau:

Have you ever noticed how horrifying those smiley french fries are in groups?

they’re like

you’re burning us alive

our insides are melting

hELP US

churchofcheesus:

my headphones have reached that stage where you have to hold them off the empire state building at a 39.5 degree angle and chant an african prayer for both sides to work

shavingryansprivates:

your boss hands you your paycheck

you worked a lot of hours this week and you’re looking forward to seeing it

you get home and open it up and to your dismay, there is no check in the envelope

instead, sticks of trident layers gum materialize inside the envelope and accumulate at an accelerating pace

soon they start pouring out of the envelope

hundreds, thousands, and eventually millions of sticks of trident layers gum

sooo

i just looked up the tag ‘boots’

and got bombarded with porn

classy

spending my friday night making bracelets, and it’s actually ok :)